Guilt vs Shame.
What’s the difference? Have you ever thought of it?
Brené Brown says that guilt, even though it is uncomfortable, can be a great motivator. Guilt can motivate us to do good and be good. It is behavior based.
Guilt on the other hand is destructive. It is an “intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and unworthy of love and belonging.”
Its the difference between “I did something wrong” and “I am wrong.”
…let that sink in. It has a very different feeling, doesn’t it?
To combat shame we first need to recognize it.
- Recognize our own shame triggers and learn to recognize it in others.
For many shame has been a way of life, a way of parenting. It is intensely harmful.
Shame can show up in many ways. Being a stay-at-home mom. Not being able to have children. Choosing not to go to college. Returning home early from a mission. Divorce. The choices of children. It goes on, and on, and on.
- Talk about it.
The more we talk about it, the less power it has.
One of Satan’s biggest lies is that you are the only one who has felt that way. If anyone else knew, they would leave you. You are alone. You have no one to turn to.
It is not true. You are not the only one. You do have someone. If you don’t see that person, pray about who to go to.
And you will always have the Savior. He will always be there.
- Learn your own worth.
You are a daughter of God. You are a son of God. You have divine lineage.
Ask God in prayer how he feels about you.
Ask yourself, “In what ways am I perpetuating shame?”
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